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| 12:59pm 27/05/2004 |
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mood:  calm
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Becky,
"Grow up, Lauren"? Like YOU of all people have the room to talk about growing up. |
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| 02:46pm 11/05/2004 |
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mood:  blah
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We broke up yesterday. Two and a half years and all of a sudden it's over. Sucks... a lot, but whatever, I'm getting over it. I went to matt's work before i had to go to work and talked for a few minutes. He said he would come over and we could just hang out. I was looking forward to it. But, no surprise, he never showed up and never returned my texts. So, as of now, i dont have anyone to talk to besides my parents. This blows a monkey... maybe Jasmine will hang out tomorrow with me. |
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| 09:14pm 10/05/2004 |
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I told you i wasn't an idiot. I just got over it... really fast. |
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| Hey ya |
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| 10:25pm 19/11/2003 |
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mood:  tired music: Edgar- My Place
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It's Wed. night, and im doing homework, when i should be with holly... =o(, oh well. I'm excited about this weekend. My sister is coming down and we're having T-giving dinner this weekend instead of next because she has to work, and i'm going dirt bike riding!!! YEAH BAYBEEE!!! I can't wait until Dec. 20 when all my classes are finished... |
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| So... |
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| 11:34pm 10/11/2003 |
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mood:  content
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So im looking through my journal and all i see is "aggrivated", "pissed", but i swear i'm not always aggrivated or pissed. I think that mainly the only time i write in here is when im in those moods. But due to complaints from, well.. not many people, imma try to write more just normal stuff.
So yeah, i hung out with jess tonight. It was pretty spiffy, but eh... i explained it in the one before. I wish we would be more just chill like we used to be.
I might go dirt bike riding on my birthday (30th) and hopefully i dont break my arm or something, but if i do... oh well.
Anyway, im off to bed |
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| no offense but... |
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| 10:57pm 10/11/2003 |
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mood:  irritated music: Aerosmith- Pink
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I don't get it... we used to have so much fun together, blasting music down the 5 to milk or 405 to long beach, but now it's different, the same stuff all the time. But, i had a good time, it's nice to see you and get out of the house.
Anyway, IM SO PISSED! They're playing Trapt now (for awhile), and they're gonna out-play Still Frame, just like every other good song, just like 102.7 plays new songs every other second and can turn your favorite song to shit by playing it too much... they actually ruin music. |
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| God Dayum |
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| 11:27pm 09/11/2003 |
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mood: aggravated music: Stir- Help
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Lay off my girlfriend, bitch. |
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| I WILL be a fucking drummer |
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| 01:15pm 07/11/2003 |
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mood:  rejuvenated music: Stir- Spaceman
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If i have a dream, I'll be damned if someone who says it's unrealistic is going to hold me back... if other people have done it, and there's plenty, then why the fuck can't i? Just because they didnt have the chance to fulfill theirs, doesnt mean they can control mine. If i fuck up, i fuck up, and that's that, and i'll get back up and try it again... that's how everything should be done. |
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| UGH! |
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| 08:33am 22/09/2003 |
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mood: aggravated music: korn- dead bodies everywhere.
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I am always the fucking middle man. I always have someone yelling at me, and they wont even talk directly. I can't take it anymore, i'm gonna explode. It's like everywhere I go, someone's pissed off at someone. Holly hates my mom, and my mom, i think, doesn't appreciate holly. I don't know. I can't stand it. My mom keeps saying that she doesnt want me with someone who is going to just sit around and never go anywhere cus of lack of motivation, or whatever. Even though hol won't do anything for herself, i love her. But it does bug the fuck out of me that she only does what she has to. She says that i just do things for money. I do things cuz i want to and because it gives me money, why not have a job that you like and brings money in? It doesnt make sense. If you're good at something, do something, and all i'm concerned with "is money". I wanna be well off, and not have to worry about paying bills, but i want to be with someone with the same motivation. Holly's like my dad cuz she says she'll do something and will never do it. On the other hand, i have my mom, who can be nice and loving, but is the biggest royal bitch in the world. She prejudges and misjudges a lot of things, she's one-sided and wont listen. She makes me not want to live sometimes. I can't stand it. Everything, she's prejudiced to it. I guess that my dad wasnt supposed to bring anything up before my mom got home. He did. I wanted to talk with my whole family, but holly wants to run from everything that's unclear, or everything that us unknown of the outcome. So we went bowling, spent more money. We were tired, so we came home, did our thing and went to bed. The whole time my mom was in the office and could've gotten up to talk to us, but she's always going to be like that. Totally caniving. Sitting there and if no one starts the conversation, the next day she's pissed off. Just last week holly and i were doing our own thing, and i was letting holly think everything over. We're always out of the house when we're down here, it's always been like that. But since my mom made the offer, she expects everything to change and revolve around her. So she said we were ignoring her, and she treated me like the shit she walks on. It sick, isn't it? My mom has this persistant way of twisting things around and fucking with people. So my parents were out of town this whole weekend, and my mom had been at work and doing stuff the whole week before (when she asked me to ask hol). So she's never home. Then it comes to today. I had a psych test this morning, i think i did pretty well, there were a couple questions i wasnt sure about, but out of the 25 questions i think i did well. So i call my mom up and tell her i think i did well, and it's just like her to ruin a good day. Because she's so miserable if she sees her daughter in a good mood, she has to rip her down. So the beating starts (not literally). It's all about her and how im blaming her when all i said is that it's hard to talk to her cuz she yells all the time and it's difficult to talk to her about certain things. And im not sorry for telling her that. So she, again, twists everything into "it's my fault", because it is her fault. She made the offer, yeah, but she was a total bitch to us. I wish she would just listen sometimes, it would make my life a lot easier. So it's her fault, yes it is. And it's my fault that i didnt get the detergent this weekend. She said to me "you should get your own detergent from now on" because if i wouldve wanted the detergent so badly, i wouldve gotten it, even though i called about it and so forth. FOR GOD SAKES, IT'S DETERGENT! Fucking imbicil. So the bitch is back. She hasnt been in a bad mood for awhile, but we all knew it wouldnt last forever, sadly. She's treating me the way her mom treated her. I wish, though, that she couldve sent me away to college, anythings better than her bitchy ass. I am so happy that im leaving this weekend. Maybe i'll go up and live with my sister. I would love that. Get away from everything, i wouldnt mind. |
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| hehe |
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| 10:59am 31/07/2003 |
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mood: happy music: sound of kisses
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My hunny is kissing me right now, and it feels good. SHE IS SO CUTE!!! She cooked dinner for me last night, and when I got home from work, we had BBQ chicken and artichokes, it was SO GOOD!!! And we watched American Pie 2. This morning she made french toast =o). I feel married. "Good morning darling, what's for breakfast?" "Oh, just french toast, dear"... Kinda scary... |
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| Same-sex Marriage |
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| 10:54am 31/07/2003 |
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mood: aggravated music: None right now - kisses =o)
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So CNN was talking about SSM and people e-mailed CNN and they posted some of the comments on TV, so I e-mailed them, too. Look it over and tell me if it was okay =o). Stupid Bush, homophobic asshole.
___________________________________________________
The recent arguments over same-sex marriage has made me and many others upset. We should all look at everything as a whole before actions are taken to separate communities.
Homosexuals will not pose a threat to society if allowed to wed. Judgements are out there and very obvious, but until ignorant people begin to aware themmselveds, we will all live in a prejudiced society.
It is not human to deprive one community, or one type of individual, the human right to marry, it is a crime against humanity.
Two heterosexuals can go to a chapel in Las Vegas, not even know each other, and become wed. This happens, more than the American people know, and THIS is deception. However, a homosexual couple who has been together for more than 20 years are not even given the opportunity to constimate their love for each other.
Marriage anymore is seemingly taken advantage of, since the divorce rate in the United States is, on average, 50 per cent. What people fail to see is that the ones who are fighting the hardest for it, are being deprived of it by those who take advangate of it.
The recent Supreme Court ruling scared a lot of people, particularly conservative heterosexuals. But their fear is not just skin deep prejudice, the real fear is caused by their looking upon one-sided arguments. If people want to make sense of why homosexuals should not marry, maybe they should look at the whole picture and not just a portion, they may find that their whole argument is invalid. Their fear is of the unknown, and everyone fears the unknown.
~Lauren
"I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illigal" -Brandon Boyd
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It sounds kinda weird, but oh well. Hopefully someone reads it. |
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| 10:43pm 24/07/2003 |
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mood: angry
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Once again, the caniving bitch has something to say. I can't believe that someone that who loves me can be so fucked up. Like the expression, don't kick a man when he's down, i know it all too well. Two different persons with one self. Thank God i have holly. |
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| vivid face, empty heart |
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| 10:38pm 24/07/2003 |
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mood:  pissed off music: koRn- dead bodies everywhere
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Realize that I can never win
Sometimes, feel like I have failed
Inside, where do I begin
My mind, is laughing at me
Tell me, why am I to blame
Aren't we, supposed to be the same
That's why, I will never change
This thing that's burning in me
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life over me
I feel the anger changing me
Sometimes, I can never tell
If I've got, something left of me
That's why, I just can't complete
For this, good to leave me
Tell me, why am I to blame
Aren't we, supposed to be the same
That's why, I will never change
This thing that's burning in me
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life over me
I feel the anger changing me
Betrayed, I feel so
Insane, I really
Tried
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life over me
I feel the anger changing me
Oh god the anger's changing me
Oh god the anger's changing me |
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| 11:42pm 14/07/2003 |
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mood: blah music: STD- Ups and Downs
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-- Name: Lauren
-- Birthplace: Killeen, TX
-- Current Location: Laguna Niguel, CA
-- Eye Color: Blue
-- Hair Color: Changes
-- Height: 6'
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Sag.
LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: White, becoming black...
-- The shoes you wore today: Sandals
-- Your fears: life
-- Your perfect pizza: Still haven't found it
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: complete happiness
LAYER THREE:
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Im hungry
-- Your best physical feature: Eyes
-- Your bedtime: Whenever
-- Your most missed memory: Junior year
LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: water
-- McDonald's or Burger King: carl's jr.
-- Single or group dates: Depends
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: That's like asking me what's the difference between lip and eye liner.
LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: uhh...
-- Cuss: Cutting back on
-- Sing: Alone, at the top of my lungs, if im awake
-- Have a crush: I dont think so
-- Do you think you've been in love: I know i have
-- Want to go to college: Want? no, should? yeah
-- Want to get married: Yeah
-- Believe in yourself : Sometimes.
-- Get motion sickness : no
-- Think you're attractive: No
-- Think you're a health freak : Oh yeah, soy and everything...
-- Get along with your parent(s): Most of the time
-- Like thunderstorms : yes
-- Play an instrument : Drums, my earth away from earth.
LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: No
-- Smoked: Yes
-- Done a drug: No................
-- Had Sex: Yes
-- Gone on a date: yes
-- Gone to the mall?: Yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no, im a health freak, remember?
-- Eaten sushi: nope
-- Been on stage: i dont think so
-- Gone skating: i WISH!
-- Made homemade cookies: Yes
-- Gone skinny dipping: nope
-- Dyed your hair : Mont? no, month and a half? yeah
-- Stolen anything: No, of course not
LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: once or twice, maybe three times
-- Gotten beaten up: Stupid chola
-- Shoplifted: Yes
-- Changed who you were to fit in: no
LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: doesnt matter
-- Numbers and Names of Children: one boy – 1 or 2, dunno 'bout names.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: on the beach
-- How do you want to die: I dont care
-- Where you want to go to college: Dont care, jsut wanna get thru
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: happy and content
-- What country would you most like to visit: France or Italy
LAYER NINE:
In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color? : Blue, green
-- Best hair color? : Dark
-- Short or long hair: long/medium
-- height: 5'9"
-- Best weight: not a twig, not a tree trunk
-- Best articles of clothing: Nothing
LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 1
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: not even myself
-- Number of CDs that I own: that's not what i do in my spare time
-- Number of piercings: 2
-- Number of tattoos: None
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? : once maybe
-- Number of scars on my body: Some
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: Enough |
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koshkosh77's journal
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